Questions. How can you recognize the "other" half? How can you spot the people who will otherwise waste your time? How can you politely discourage them and disengage from them?

Scenario 1: You walk into your seminar room and look around at the people in the audience. Looks like any other congregation. Some are standing and some are moving around. Some are seated and leaning back in the chair, while others are seated leaning forward. What can you determine from just that simple observation?

Scenario 2: Someone (call him Bill) comes into your office. You usher Bill to a chair. Typical situation, right? Amazingly, you can tell from how Bill sits in the chair if you have a good chance to gain a new client, or if you should quickly usher Bill back out the door.

Merely from watching simple behavior, you can determine with considerable accuracy who is a "tire kicker" and who is a "buyer." You can learn who is there to gather information, and who wants an opportunity to take action – or buy.

The difference between the two is very simple. One likes to initiate activity and the other doesn't. Look at it another way; one likes to initiate the activity of gathering information, and the other likes to initiate activity whether or not there is any information.

The term we use for the people who initiate information gathering is "Reactive." They are often considered passive and seem to be followers. They are also the experts in specific bodies of knowledge.

Realize that we are all Reactive in some situations. Picture yourself at the swimming pool. You're on the end of the high diving platform ten meters (30 feet) high above the water. Will you attempt a dive? Or, will you back down the ladder? The difference determines if you're Proactive or Reactive in that situation (what we call "context").

In uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations, many people can't initiate activity, but need to gather information in order to understand the situation before they can begin to make a decision. For example, ever go to an amusement park and find yourself at roller coaster? You're faced with only two choices: 1) get in line. 2) have an anxiety attack at the thought of getting on that insane ride which will surely throw you to your death. In the context of roller coasters, are you Proactive or Reactive?

The term we use for the people who initiate action is "Proactive." They are sometimes the impulse buyers, leaders, pioneers, early adopters. Their unconscious motto is, "Fire, Ready, Aim." Left up to Proactives, all the ammunition would be gone by the time we saw the whites of the enemy's eyes.

Back in the seminar room. The Proactive people are ones leaning forward while sitting, or moving while on their feet. They like to move, believe that any movement is better than no movement; and they're offended by inertia. They are not the researchers and planners. They are the implementers. They err to acting first and thinking later. These are your buyers. Give them an opportunity to get involved, and do it soon.

The people leaning back in their chairs are typically the Reactive ones. They wait for others to initiate. They typically wait, plan, consider and then (maybe) take action.

Reactives often take criticism for being indecisive. After analyzing them for several years, I believe they are quick to take action, but their goal is to plan for movement – not actually do the movement. So, they're not really indecisive; they simply make several decisions, instead of one. First, they decide to conduct research and gather data. Second, they take action to develop a strategy. Ultimately, if the data is sound and the strategy valid, they will decide to decide.

The Reactive unconscious motto is, "Ready, aim, verify the aim, ready, adjust the sights, ready, aim?.perhaps firing at this point would be premature." Left up to Reactives, the enemy would be having a victory party by the time we finally got around to firing.

In our business, Pam would rather be a guest on Fear Factor than enter a situation requiring her to act without first gathering massive amounts of information. She prefers to have everything perfect first. She reads hundreds of books and reports, organizes it into usable subcategories, develops it into strategies, tactics and action items. Meanwhile, I've already initiated meetings and booked a seminar on it. As frustrating as the differences are, it creates amazingly smart tools.

Recognizing Proactive & Reactive

Step one: Ask

Just ask any leading question that invites the person to talk about how he handled some relevant situation. "How do you like to work with your professional advisors?" Or, "What do you do during a typical day at your job?" Or, "Tell me how you handled a recent investment opportunity." Or, "How are you planning for your retirement?"

Step two: Listen to the language

A general rule of thumb – the longer the sentence, the greater the likelihood the person is Reactive.

1. Does the person talk about thinking, contemplating, analyzing, understanding, waiting, planning or luck? Can you see a tendency to avoid action in the descriptions and language? Does he speak in long, rambling, incomplete sentences? Does he convert active verbs into passive verbs by using the "ing" form? That would be a Reactive person.
2. Does she use short sentences and pepper her answer with active verbs like: did, scored, called, made, built, convinced, wrote, created, performed? That's probably a Proactive person.

Step three: Watch the body language

If the person exhibits movement in the posture, he is probably Proactive. So, if seated, he leans forward. If standing, he leans forward or shifts his weight often. If he leans back in his chair or stands still, he is probably Reactive. Is she constantly fidgeting with a pen or spinning a coaster on its edge? She's probably Proactive.

Proactive Example. Let's say you ask Mike a question, "How did you get here?" Mike puts his forearms on your desk, leans forward and answers like this: "Jumped in the car hey – and here I am."

In that example, Mike takes action and the focus of his answer is on the how of getting there. The sentence is short, active and to the point. Proactive people make an impact on the world.

Reactive Example. Let's say you ask Joe a question, "How did you get here?" Joe leans back, answers like this: "It was looking like rain, so Weather.com gave me some insight for the, well, you know when it's raining, the interstate tends to be a disaster, but you might have better luck on the loop…"

In that example, Joe relies on something outside himself to make the decision. He does not impact the world and the focus of his answer is on things outside of himself. The sentence is rambling and no action (other than gathering information) takes place. Reactive people are impacted by the world.

Sales & Marketing Tips for working with Proactive

Proactive sales & marketing.

1. Position your product or service so it appears Proactive or interactive or action-oriented.
2. Use Proactive language with punchy, active verbs and short, active sentences.
3. Link your message to action and movement.

Example. In the financial services industry, legal restrictions require marketing material to be written in a language that appeals to Reactive people. So, if you are a financial advisor, your marketing message should contain as many action-oriented words and phrases as legally possible. For example: "Take action today to secure and protect your lifestyle." Or "See the future and seize it now – take the initiative and claim your dividends."

Reactive sales & marketing.

Show how your service gives the Reactive person all the information she needs to become comfortable. Provide the opportunity to wait, learn, think about, and analyze. Facilitate the planning and strategizing.

Example. Entrepreneurs love Proactive people because they buy quickly. The problem is, half the population is more Reactive. So, if you focus on Proactive people, you exclude half your target market. Do this, consider creating a separate letter or brochure, just for Reactive people. Give them greater comfort by making three promises. For example:

1. You'll always get all the information you need to become comfortable with our service.
2. We will always clarify and define terminology and elements so you can determine the best strategy.
3. Although stock market fluctuations can affect valuation, you are encouraged to take all the time you want, and get as comfortable as you like with the information.

* Remember, all mental filter configurations can be completely different, depending on the context. Playing Monopoly is a context, and buying an annuity is a different context. Backing up your hard drive is a context, and writing a sales letter is a different context. So, a person could be Reactive in one context and Proactive in another. Look for the behavior in the given situation.