Over the course of several years teaching seminars in personality types, we identified something truly amazing. We realized that we could determine the personality type of almost anyone – just by reading simple cues on that person's face. So, when a prospect comes into your office, you could easily know a wealth of information about him – before he even starts talking. Do you think that can help you in your rapport building?

When I'm teaching people how to read other people, I can look into their faces and see the conflicts in their minds. I can see where some of their confusion and insecurities come from. It's as clear and vivid as a photograph.

Quick story. Each year, we conduct a couple of programs at the Athens (Georgia) Insurance Expo. We also get a booth in the exhibit hall. On our table is a sign saying, "Face Reading." Within fifteen minutes, we have people lined up ten to fifteen deep waiting for me to read their faces. It is science, but it's not rocket science. Anyone can learn to do it.

Some of the faces I look into show me personality type combinations that are in conflict with each other. When I see that, I ask the person to sit with me privately. I describe the internal conflict, give some examples of how it might be playing out in that person's life and how other people are probably responding to it. I explain why the conflict is there, and what the person can do to resolve the conflict. And, through all of that, the other person remains silent, perhaps nodding agreement with things I tell him or her. If I wanted to take advantage of those people, I could get them to buy hazardous waste at that time. But, it wouldn't be very ethical, would it?

The common comment we hear from the advisors we train is that those cues on faces are just the result of gravity and age. Wrong.

In our research, we discovered that even if you take twins (same genetics, facial features, age, and stress level), over time, one could end up with literally no lines on his face while the other might have a virtual roadmap of wrinkles etched onto his face.

The important thing to understand is that those lines form for a specific reason – you make the same faces throughout your life. When you get excited, you make your Wow face. When you feel nurturing, you make your Warm and Fuzzy face. When you're thinking, you make your Intense face. You always make the same faces to express what your mind is doing.

Knowing that, doesn't it make sense that the facial expression you make most often will produce the most prominent lines? We teach our clients how to read those lines.

How can you use this knowledge?

Scenario One – new advisors. Imagine you're a manager and you're responsible for the success of new advisors. What advice do you give them that will help them become success quickly? Would you tell them to start making cold calls? Go the mall and solicit everyone you see? Present themselves as all things to all people? Of course not.

If your business lives or dies by the quality of your client relationships, then it stands to reason that you would focus on building quality relationships. And, it stands to reason that you would want your new advisors to learn the specific skills for doing exactly that. The most important relationship-building skill is your ability to read the person in front of you. That's what tells you how to then adjust your communication to match that person. Of course, trust is a product of rapport, and rapport is the result of subtle, effective matching.

Scenario Two – relationship managers. Imagine you're a manager of several investment teams. All the team members are brilliant tacticians and technical professionals, but like many brilliant people, they lack people skills. That's just not their strength, and besides, their time is better spent doing what they do best, working on client portfolios. Thus, you decide to hire a relationship manager to help all your investment teams build close client relationships. What skills do you look for in a relationship manager?

If you're like the other managers we've encountered, you don't know how to answer that question. "Uh, good organization, self-starter, can work in a hectic office, knows the latest software?." See anything in that job description to indicate you're going to get someone who knows zip about the psychology of building profitable client relationships? No. While all the relationship managers we've met are highly organized, not one knows how to build a relationship.

Scenario Three – office assistant. Imagine you want to improve the effectiveness of your office. Stands to reason, the more effective your office, the greater your probability of better success. How do you make your office more effective? The one area that is consistently neglected is the training of your office assistant. He or she is trained in the typical areas: systems, processes, technology, time management. But those areas are secondary when you realize that your assistant is either a profit enabler or a profit roadblock.

Every person who calls your office talks to your assistant. Every person who walks through your door talks to you assistant. That's why you need to train the assistant to read people and enhance relationships. Think of it like this, relationships are always in movement. They are either growing or in decline. And, it's your office assistant who decides which direction your client relationships will go. Doesn't it make sense to equip your assistant with the right people-reading skills?

In those scenarios perhaps the most important skill is that person's ability to read prospects and clients. There are stacks of books on relationship psychology and communication psychology. They go back to the days of Plato! But our industry tends to ignore that science. It is proven time and time again through the years – when you can read people accurately, you can develop rapport, trust and loyalty more quickly and more reliably. Do that consistently and you are assured greater success!

Conclusion

If you're reading this article in an office, look into the face of someone near you. What can you determine about that person, just from looking? If you can't read anything, call us immediately.