Integrity. Quick, what is the definition of "integrity?" Most people can't give one, but they think they can recognize it when they see it. Want to start a heated debate? Get into a public situation and ask, "Is George Bush a man of integrity? And, why?" The lines will be drawn in the sand, and the polarized groups will face off. Actually, the question is simpler than it seems because the answer depends on the actual definition of "integrity."

Here's the simple definition from dictionary.com: "Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code." Is that the president? Working with that definition, the president probably is a man of integrity. There is little confusion or doubt about his moral or ethical code.

What about you? Are you a person of integrity? Ever take a commission and a fee from the same client? Ever hire someone who didn't share your beliefs and values? Ever make a compromise to solve a problem? If you have, then you're either stressing the definition of integrity, or perhaps you're using the wrong word. It's easy to confuse integrity with pragmatic, down-to-earth, efficient or logical.

When you look at it from a practical perspective, integrity implies a black & white approach the life. Any psychologist will tell you that people with a structure that highly defined die early and experience great frustration throughout their lives. "Strict moral code" suggests that all things are either moral, or they're not. But, it doesn't stipulate the legitimacy or appropriateness of the code. Working with that definition, the al Quieda and the Taliban have integrity. Point is – most people either don't know what integrity is, or the word doesn't fit their definition.

Compassion. Again, what is the definition? "Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it." Wouldn't you have to be dead not to have some compassion? But, to be a value, your compassion has to be put into action.

Now, let's consider the hard questions: Have you ever passed by a homeless person without giving some spare change? Have you ever walked past a Salvation Army Santa without giving some spare change? Have you ever abandoned a pet? Did you ever foster a misperception of someone? If yes to any of those, then, you might like the idea of compassion, and you might be somewhat compassionate, but because you don't consistently act on it, compassion is not necessarily one of your top values.

Relationships. This implies that you work diligently on building and nurturing your relationships. All relationships fall on a continuum. On one extreme is a negative relationship. The other person knows you. He nods at you, then turns to the person next to him and mutters an expletive. On the other extreme is the positive relationship. The other person stops, smiles and sticks out his hand in greeting. Then, he turns to the person next to him and introduces you as a really good friend and advisor. If your relationships are not overwhelmingly the latter, then you might not really value relationships because you're not taking action to nurture them. If that's the case, you probably enjoy having relationships, but you don't enjoy working on them.1

That opens the question – how do you really identify your values?

Discover the value of values. If you know anything about my work, you know that I don't just talk in theory – I teach you how to do it, how to make it work for you. Same here. If you're working with values, you could be doing yourself and your clients a serious disservice – if you're eliciting the wrong values. So, here's how you discover the right ones. We'll use you as the test, but realize that you can guide your clients through this exercise.

Step One

Make a list of your values. List all the values you feel are important to you.

Step Two

Put the list into order of importance to you. Most important values go at the top of the list.

Step Three

Justify each one. Next to each value listed, write two things: 1) a description of specific situations and dates in which the value played a role; then, 2) the actions or behaviors showing that you put that value into action. It might look like this:

When I ask my clients to apply this test to the values they list, we discover that many values on the list are not their values. In fact, they are ones the clients would like to value, ones they appreciate or admire. However, the values they think they value are actually not their values. For professionals who engage in any consultative approach to business, this is a huge Ah Ha!

The implications are monumental!

Let's say you're a wealth management advisor. Any financial planning, or life-based planning, or macro-strategic planning you do based on those professed "professed but not possessed" values will produce less-than-desired results. Effectively, you would have failed your client.

Here's a specific example. Imagine you're working with a client. You want your plan to be congruent with his values, so you ask him to name his values. He tells you charity and love are the top ones. In your mind, you recognize those as pretty easy to put into play with perhaps a charitable foundation, endowment, or angel tree programs at Christmas. You ask the client, "What do you mean? What types of charitable activities or causes are you currently involved in?" And, he says, "Well, I don't belong to a charity, if that's what you mean. And, I don't give away cash grants or anything like that."

You probably recognize that something is not right. Point is – his actions must follow his professed values. If they don't, it indicates that he might value those values, but he doesn't possess them.

Let's say you're an investment management firm. When you go into an institutional presentation and deliver a Values Statement, you risk exposing the incongruence of your firm's credibility – unless you have followed the three steps above.

A specific example. Your team enters the board room at a major manufacturing firm. You begin by making your Values Statement, "We are a team of investment professionals dedicated to integrity, consistency and constant focus on our clients." One of the board members asks you, "What do you mean by 'integrity' and how does that affect your investment management decisions?" Right away, you're on the defensive. Another board members asks, "Constant focus? That implies 24/7. Do you have more than one client at a time? Uh oh. Your beautiful Values Statement now has gaping holes in it.

Hint: Write a Values Statement and try to shoot holes in it yourself.

Working in the financial industry is one of the most rewarding experiences in life, and you get to do it every day. In your hand, you hold the hopes and dreams of people and families. The power is intoxicating, but the responsibility is sobering. Working with the wrong values is like loading blanks into your M-14.

If you were a pharmaceutical firm and you began marketing a new product based on faulty test results, you would be inundated with calls from attorneys. If you were an auto manufacturer and you released the new-year's models with defective fuel injectors, you'd probably get calls from those same attorneys.

Test results and reliable working auto parts are staples in those industries. They're the basics that athletes continue to work on. They're the grammatical elements that separate clear prose from confusion. They're the manual of arms that every Marine practices daily.

In your business, it's the same thing. A client's values are the fundamentals of his life. Working with the wrong values means giving the client a flawed product. Your own values are the foundation for your behavior and actions. Do you take action that is consistent and trustworthy? Or, do your values seem to change from situation to situation?

How to apply this lesson to yourself

Consider discovering what your actual values are. Then, write a meaningful Values Statement.

If you are an investment management firm, your presentations will carry significantly more impact, and you'll show yourself as different and better by having a congruent Values Statement. Be sure to use it for target practice before announcing it in pubic.

If you are a product professional (pensions, life insurance, annuities, stocks), your Values Statement can reassure prospects that you're not going to churn or replace products to generate commissions. But, rather, reassure them that you will make recommendations based on the things that give meaning to your own life.