To understand how you can connect with HNW person, let's take the simplest, most direct approach to HNW psychology and look at personality types. The common training in this area of psychology tells you that you have one personality type, and that you will always be that personality type. That's wrong. It's obsolete information. Throughout your day, you change from one personality type to another and back again – perhaps hundreds of times.

Common knowledge – not so good. Common personality type programs tell you to memorize the characteristics of each personality type, and then use that information to help you communicate with those people. You would open a conversation with someone, and while listening to that person talk, you would also calculate if he is asking or telling, if he is people-focused or task-focused, if he is more aggressive or passive. After a minute of that, you'll hear your internal voice asking yourself, "Now, what was he saying?"

The point is, there are so many problems with that approach to using psychology in your business as to make the approach almost ludicrous. Here are three of the biggest problems:

First, your job is to listen with a completely open mind to the prospect. How else would you know what his pain is? And, how can you listen when you're thinking about three or four other things at the same time. You can't. Trust me, I've worked on this for years. Years ago, I was trained to teach that same approach, so I tried it over and over again. It doesn't work. Certainly, in a business sense, it's nonsense.

Second, in order to follow that approach, you have to get the other person talking openly and freely. How are you going to do that when you're probably an interruption in his or her day? People do not open up to strangers. HNW people don't typically even meet with strange sales people. So, if you're there with a sales pitch and expect the HNW person to talk to you openly about his or her personal financial situation – you've been given some terrible advice.

Third, you don't have to memorize the characteristics of the different personality types because you already know them. You have those characteristics inside you right now. In fact, the danger is that you would memorize the buzz words and use them. Let me explain that – if you're in any other mind set when you use a Decision Maker's language (buzz words), you won't have any commitment to or passion for the things you say. You'll come across as fake, and the Decision Maker you're talking with will NOT be impressed.

What I want you to realize is this. There are four personality types. You have all four inside you, and at any given time, one of those four is the dominant type for you. All the special characteristics of brilliant researchers, speakers, teachers, consultants – and decision makers – well, you have them inside you, too.

No, I'm not trying to motivate you. I'm simply explaining to you how "personality types" actually work.

For just a minute, so you can see this point, let's leave the business environment and go into a different situation. Let's say you're talking with a little girl, would you lecture her on being financially prepared for her future? Would you counsel her to buy an annuity with her allowance and explain that accidental death and dismemberment is our friend? Please say, "No."

Instead, you would adjust your conversation, right? You'd acknowledge that Barbie was cool. You'd talk with her invisible friends. Your face would reflect your excitement at how delicious Skittles are with make-believe tea. How would you know to do that? How would you know what adjustments to make? Simple. That behavior is a combination of Amiable and Expressive, and it is already in you.

Now, back to business. Let's say you walk into the office of a corporate executive. How do you know which approach to take? How do you know what communication strategy to take? You could simply follow his lead, right? Yes, even if you're an expert at reading people, that requires you to get him into a discussion, and you need to establish your value to him before you can get him talking. So, you might consider taking the most clever approach – become an executive. Access the executive (Decision Maker) inside you. Don't you run a business? Don't you make tough decisions every day? That's the same thing that your prospect does. Just connect with him in that mind set.

You see, each of the four personality types is a mental package, complete with values, vocabulary and physiological movement. Throughout your days, you're probably unaware of slipping from one type to another. For example, when you need to be creative, you slip into an Expressive mind set. When you need to learn something, you slip into an Analytical mind set. In my life, when I'm preparing to travel, I go deep into my Decision Maker mentality. During those times, you don't want to get in my way. I'm focused on time-efficiency, coordinating multiple tasks, and getting everything done ASAP.

Here's an example of contrast – when you're talking with a long-time client, your values are different from when you're negotiating a service agreement with the office building manager. When you're making a cold call, you have a dominant type controlling your decisions and behavior. That type comes in a package with values, vocabulary and physiological movement, too. (By the way, I believe the reason most the people can't make cold calls is that they are making calls in the wrong mind set.)

When you're driving to work, you have a dominant type with its package of values and physiological movement. And, that package is probably different from the one you flex into when you're doing research or conducting a seminar presentation.

The point is – You don't have to memorize the characteristics of the different types. You only have to find them inside yourself, then use them as tools. Want to connect with a decision maker? Simply find the decision maker in you and go into that mind set – before you go into the meeting. This is the same thing actors do to get into character. How do I know this? Before entering the financial industry, I was an actor in a comedy troupe in Austin, Texas.

Of course, in order to move – at will – between personality types, it helps to be reminded of the characteristics you're about to adopt. I'm going to describe the mind set of "Decision Makers" to help you locate that quality inside yourself. Remember who Decision Makers are – corporate executives and business owners. I'm going to list some of their characteristics. I want you to assume them as I name them.

1. You focus on the task at hand. You get to the point right away and zero in on it.
2. You have a Passion for getting things done, and take pride in getting more done than other people think is possible.
3. You enjoy being in control, and you're really good at it.
4. You are Competitive. This is simple. When you compete, you win.
5. You seek perfection from yourself and those around you.
6. You develop plans and make the final decisions for implementing them.
7. You respect authority and hire people who respect your authority.

Note. There is a specific logic to the way those points are constructed. They are actually imbedded commands or post-hypnotic suggestions. How do I know about such things? I'm a Clinical Hypnotherapist. Post-hypnotic suggestions work like this – let's say you want to improve your executive decision making abilities, or your ability to communicate with executives. I would create a list for you. It would contain qualities and characteristics, much like the list above. Then, I would hypnotize you and install those qualities and characteristics.

This is exactly how I help my coaching clients gain a skill or attitude that will help them succeed. If hypnotism works to help people lose weight and stop smoking and overcome fears and experience surgery without pain, don't you think it could work to help your business behavior?

Your Reward

This month I'm going to give you two rewards. First Reward is the complete list of post-hypnotic suggestions (sometimes called affirmations) to put you into the mind set of Decision Makers. Just fill out the response form below and I'll email you the list. Second Reward is a discount. This article is taken from my new MP3 audio titled "Inside the Mind of Decision Makers." The CD will sell for $59, but I will give you a $40 Preview Discount. All you have to do is contact me and give me your charge card information, or send a check – and I'll send you the CD. If you like this article, you'll love the CD!

Personal note. In my articles, I teach you things you would not otherwise learn. I teach you how to use psychology in your own business. Who else reads my articles? Who else recognizes that they represent a big improvement and way to do better business? I can give you two names that are our two newest clients: Met Life Investors and All State. If they operate in your market, you might want to keep up with them.