Answer. You are in a very dangerous and tenuous position. If you are doing lots of cold calls, you will wear out and quit if you don't see much success. Very few people actually enjoy making cold calls. If you're "normal," you will experience ever-increasing stress. And, it's a terrible way to operate a business. However, sometimes, in the real world, you're stuck with this kind of desperation tactic.

In a cold call, you have only a few seconds to learn about the people on the phone. You need to learn how to build systematic rapport with people very quickly. Until you learn how to read a person quickly and build rapport systematically, you will be at the mercy of luck – and no one has much luck with cold calling.

My suggestion, find a good book on building rapport, and get a coach to help you put those skills into effect in your own specific style. I wrote a book on this topic specifically to address this question.

Question 2. Positioning at the table?

Where should I sit when I'm meeting with one or two people?

Answer: To their right, not across from them. To their right forces them to look to their right. When they do that, they activate the creative side of their mind. That means they will be less likely to fall into old habits. Also, make sure you gesture with your right hand. Again, it forces the prospect to look to his right. If you gesture up at about eye level, the prospect can visualize what you're saying, so use word pictures. If you gesture at table level, the prospect will go into his emotions, so link that with an emotional appeal.

These suggestions are based on an area of Neuro-linguistic Programming called "eye accessing cues." They are described in my book Presentation Magic.

Question 3. How should I communicate my values to prospects?

My company focus is to build relationships with our clients. From a marketing standpoint, I have placed our home office approved ads in sports programs at local high schools and have a web page link through the company web site. I don't know if these pieces effectively communicate my values to prospects. Any advice would be welcome.

When I was a producer, I tried something similar and it failed. I realized that I was trying to turn a charity into a profit generator. Don't; it's backwards. Advertising in the local high school program is from your heart, not your business.

Consider doing this. Once per month, when the team names an MVP of that week's game, sponsor a reception or party for that athlete, his family and some of their family friends – not just the teen-age jocks. Don't talk business, just get to know the people. Your credibility will improve and people will learn to trust you. Right now, they don't know that they can do that.

Question 4. How fast to build relationships?

My natural inclination is to move slowly with a prospect in order to earn their trust, however survival means we need to get people in the door. What is a good balance?

Answer. You can't determine the speed at which someone does business with you. And, you can't force a relationship. Your job is to determine how fast the prospect wants to move (or is capable of moving). You have to get deep inside the prospect's experience.

1. Is he a decision maker or thinker?
2. Does he want details or a bigger picture?
3. Is he fast thinking or plodding?
4. Is he relationship-focused or facts-focused?
5. Does he prefer the practical or the theoretical?

How do you learn those things? Just ask some questions and listen to the way the answers are structured. Bottom line – you cannot push a person into doing business. But you can make it easier for him or her to do business with you. Make yourself likeable and trustworthy. Ask questions that they know the answers to. Make it fun to answer your questions.

What I'm talking about is called "consultative selling." If you want to build a booming business based on Boomers, it is the best (only) way to work.

Your Reward

Doing business in 2006 means you must get really good at all the skills I listed above. When you put them together, you get consultative selling. Very few advisors are taught the skills required to succeed at consultative selling. Consultative selling always begins with your "read" of the prospect. I believe the absolute best resource for learning to do that is my book Face Values. If you want to learn to read your prospects, fill out the card below and mention "Face Values" in the message. I'll give you a $5 discount! Regular price is $39. You can get it for only $34. I guarantee, you will love it!