Looking Deep!

Because facial expressions are so important, I've investigated them a bit more in-depth. Typically, two places the face can broadcast a mismatch and stop someone from liking you: 1) The fake smile, where the person smiles only with his mouth. A real smile is located in the mouth and eyes. That's why amiable people have smile lines around their eyes. 2) The roving eyes, where the other person's eyes look in the wrong places at the wrong times. Did you know that you can actually tell what kind of information the other person is gathering by where his eyes go?

What happens when the facial aspect of likeability is off? The other person doesn't like you as much. That means he doesn't trust you as much. And, that means he probably doesn't do business with you. Is this the case in every situation? No. But it is true in 83% of them. The research in likeability proves that decision makers do business with someone they do not like in only 17% of the buying situations. Not good odds, are they?

One of the most important elements of facial attraction is what's going on in your head when you're listening.

What happens when the facial aspects are good? You are perceived as being sincere. Technically, the term is "congruent." In other words, all systems are working in harmony toward a common good. Think of it like this. The other person has a subconscious calculator analyzing and tabulating data as Yes or No continually. Give enough incongruent or No signals and you're history.

Stated in real-life terms – financial advisors who place high value on relationships tend to be more congruent, thus liked by more people. Conversely, advisors who prefer to work with calculations and analyze projections tend not to put as much effort into building relationships. Thus, more people do not like them.

Examples of Likeable People

In a study conducted by Shanto Iyengar at Stanford a little over a year ago participants were asked to rate 20 political figures on a "feeling thermometer." The warmer or more favorably they felt toward a person, the higher score they gave them on a scale of zero to 100. The top three and bottom three politicians in the ranking are listed below:

Bottom three:

1. Sen. Bill Frist – 41.5
2. Sen. Harry Reid – 41.2

   

I believe those who don't like Kerry are responding negatively to his non-likeable facial qualities. His face often has a "look" of disdain, even dislike. He is very confident in himself, but you don't get the feeling he is confident in the rest of us. Likeable people like other people and they show that in their facial expressions. I don't think John Kerry likes us and I think we pick up on that.

What should Kerry do to improve his likeability? it's the same thing you should do if you have some of his facial characteristics. Find the most loving and caring facial expression you can make. Think of your kids as little babies, focus on them and then look in the mirror. That's the face you should wear when you talk to your prospects and clients.

Like Me

In my work I've noticed that many people gravitate to other people who look like them, but they rarely ever notice it. Dr. Karen Stephenson describes it as "an ancient skill encoded in us by our forebears."

"In the small talk of cocktail parties, humans are at random walk, desperately seeking points of similarity through visibility: height, girth, dress, gender, race, accent, hair and eye color, etc. Reading the audience and working a room are ancient skills encoded in us by our forebears who sat cheek by jowl around the campfire; an earlier and more primordial form of cocktail party. I confess to having attended countless cocktail parties and continue to be amazed how, after just a few drinks, I end up with people who are like me in some way – same experiences, same clothes same interests, etc. it's not the alcohol talking, but the ancient drive of seeking similarity: 'You look like me, you think like me, you dress like me … you're one of us.' When people connect at this basic level, they are engaging in an embryonic form of trust with each other. What began as a room full of disconnected people may end up as a network of people connected in invisible lines of trust."

As a fun illustration – take a look at the two photos below. Pam found Dr. Karen Stephenson's articles on the web quite by accident. As Pam describes it, "I connected with her work and her words immediately. It wasn't until much later that I noticed the physical similarities." Just look. That's Pam on the left and Dr. Karen on the right.

In Conclusion

As you can see from the content in this article, Pam and I know a tremendous amount about how to help you make more money. Where many coaches teach you to go for the throat in your sales, we teach you how to build a strong business based on integrity and how your mind naturally works. As one of our friends said, "You put FUN back in functional." When you can be yourself and make more money – it IS fun!

Your Reward 1

If you want to talk about how you can benefit (make more money and have more fun in your career), give me a call. We have just started providing coaching services to a prestigious registry of RIAs. Why not take advantage of this same network. Not only do we do the coaching, when we're appropriate, but we also make referrals to many other coaches – when they are appropriate. So, if you want to do better, be better and keep getting better, give me a call. I'll connect you with the right coach for you.

Your Reward 2

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