Give him some meaningful materials that he can pass along to the mayor, or provide a social gathering that would provide an opportunity for him to introduce you.

Referrals are the result of the client experiencing a certain amount of value from you. Remember that number is determined by his "convincer strategy." That's the requisite number of experiences any person needs to have before he can make a decision. In other words, you can ask for a referral until you're blue in the face, but until you've given the client enough experiences of value (to satisfy his convincer strategy), he is not going to satisfy your request.

The most common number of experiences that satisfy a convincer strategy is three. So, seek to remind the client, or get the client to articulate, three things you've done for him that he values. Or deliver some combination of the results and connection. Then, you can open the referral conversation.

The 6-Step Referral Process

What Pam and I have focused on for many years is exceeding your expectations. So, if I only gave you those guidelines, you'd say, "Mike, great guidelines, but how do I put them into effect?" So, in order to exceed your expectations, don't I need to give you a basic script to follow? We call this the "6-Step Referral Process." Here it is:

1. Thank You

   "Bill, I want to thank you for taking our work together so seriously. Life is hard and it's getting more expensive every year. You're doing the right things at the right time. The way you approach our work together make it possible for me to be more effective.

2. Build Value

   "Bill, now I have a serious question to ask you. What do you think have been the most useful or important things I've done for you?" [wait for the answers] "Anything else?" People tend to forget the specifics of how you helped them. It's important for you to remind them. That helps to build their sense of your value. We call that "self discovering your value."

List the things Bill mentions and ask, "Are those just OK, or did we hit it out of the park?" Then explain, "It is very important to me that I consistently give the best value. And, I won't know how I'm doing unless you tell me. So, did we hit it out of the park, or get a triple or what?"

For example, our specialty is using psychology in the business relationship process. You would never consider coming to me with a question about taxes or compliance regulations. But you would call me with questions about any and everything dealing with business relationships. Building credibility, reading people, delivering presentations, proactive listening, speaking from emotion, credibility marketing – all of those fall into my area of expertise.

This step gives the client a very specific context to deal with. And, then an easy way to start thinking on your behalf.

What Does a Referral Look Like?

We see three levels of referrals. Let's look at each one:

1. A name. This is when the client simply writes down a name and phone number of someone he knows. This type of referral is practically worthless. It says that the client doesn't want to get involved.
2. A name and a note. This is when the client gives you a name and agrees to sign a pre-written endorsement for you. This type of referral feels like manipulation. It might buy you five seconds of conversation with the referral.
3. Credibility Introduction. This is when the client sets up a conference call to introduce you to his friend. This is exactly what you want. Example. Pam and I were recently introduced to a large publisher by Daniel, one of our clients, in a most credible and impactful way. He said, "I want you to meet Michael and Pam. They have helped me tremendously and been instrumental in my credibility. Treat them like family – they're my A-team." Then, Daniel hung up, leaving us to have a private conversation with the publisher.

How can you get someone to give an introduction like that? First build great value for him. Second, introduce him like that to someone else. The easiest way to get referrals is by giving referrals and in the process you teach your client how to give referrals to you.

The Structure of an Introduction

Now that you know it's important to use introductions intelligently, how can you structure an introduction to accomplish that? Let's say you're going to introduce me during a conference call. Follow this process:

1. Think in terms of sound bites. That's a seven-second statement (30-40 words) intended to grab and hold the listener's attention for that short amount of time.
2. Structure it in three areas: professional, personal and the closing.
3. Deliver the most important and relevant sound bite first.
4. Unless the other person is a personal friend, never joke. Many people misunderstand humor.

Professional Sound bite. I'd like to introduce a person who has been a role model to me for many years. His professional integrity serve as a beacon to advisors seeking to build careers on ethics and values.

Professional Sound bite. The author of eight books and a thousand articles, he is perhaps the best known authority on credibility and the psychology of communication in our industry today.

Personal Sound bite. They say the mark of a truly honest man is someone who is honest when he doesn't have to be. I've watched this person approach his personal life with the same depth of character he does in business. For him, it seems, character never takes a day off.

Closing. Bill, I want to introduce you to Michael Lovas. Michael, this is Bill Smith. Both of you are good friends, so I know you're in good hands. And, with that, I'll disconnect and leave you two to talk.

Then What?

Ever see this happen – a colleague gets a referral but fails to follow up with the person who gave it. When someone gives you a referral, he is actually saying, "I value you, and I value my friend. I want to connect you two." More important, he's also saying, "I'm sticking my neck out for you and placing my relationship with my friend at risk, so you had better treat this with great care."

So, your responsibility is to contact the referral, have a friendly conversation and then send the client a card or letter telling him how the meeting went. This is where you will gush Thank You on the client. If you know what the client enjoys, you could include a gift certificate with a card saying something like this:

"I know you didn't connect Frank and me in hopes of getting anything in return. But, I want to show my gratitude for placing your trust in me. So, I'm including two tickets to the Beatles Reunion Concert and a pair of backstage passes."

In Conclusion

Referrals are the life blood of a successful relationship-focused business. If you are careless or goofy about asking for them, you will damage your credibility. But, if you handle this process adroitly, you will show yourself as a higher-level, credible professional. As we observe and analyze the general population, we see them continually seeking an advisor they can trust. If you prove to be that person, your clients will want to connect you to their friends.

Your Reward

As you have seen, referrals are the result of a system. Over the years, we have developed the logic for the system and have created the individual pieces to bring it to life. That includes our new book Credibility & Likeability, a set of letters and greeting cards, a script, and a coaching program. If you want to take advantage of this system, we will have a short conference call in about two weeks. If you want to generate a steady flow of referrals, this no-nonsense psychological approach could be exactly what you've been hoping to find. Send me your contact information and I will let you know when the conference call will be conducted. FYI: this call is limited to only twenty people. If you want to join us, get your name in as soon as possible.

- Michael Lovas, C.Ht