(Which begs the question: Do caucuses get recounts?)

Now the talking heads and so-called experts are fawning all over this all-American, comeback kid fairy tale, but this guy's no Bill Clinton. And he's too far to the right to present any kind of challenge to Barack Obama in a general election. But that's what primary season is for, play to the base before shifting to the center a few months later.

(Which makes me wonder: Can someone who openly opposes birth control – for anyone – get elected in 2012?)

All of that aside, how much of a success story is this, anyway? The Santorum camp has made much of the amount of time – and mileage – their candidate has invested in Iowa. They proudly tout that he's visited every single county in the state (all 99, they proclaim). On the flip side, Romney all but wrote the state off after his second-place finish there four years ago doomed his last presidential bid. Instead, until recently, he'd spent all his time and energy in New Hampshire, a state he's got locked up next week.

(By the way, it bears pointing out that Romney finished with the exactly the same chunk of caucus goers as last time. So some might ask if dropping more than $4.6 million to break even was worth it?)

Besides, despite the all the buzz, they both leave Iowa with the same number of delegates.

No, the moral of Iowa's story this year – besides reinforcing the cruel effectiveness of negative campaigning – is that old school, wear out your shoe leather, door-to-door campaigning still works, almost as much as deep pockets and shadowy Super PACs.

But despite all of the GOP's dalliances with every other girl at the dance, they're still going home with the one who brung 'em. A smart move, since he's got the best chance to beat Carter, I mean Obama, in November.

Now the only real drama left – despite what the media will be blaring over the next four months – is his choice of running mate. Christie, anyone?