The folks over at CareerBuilder have obviously read the studies about the positive effects of humor on well-being. Why else would this otherwise serious online job search service conduct surveys eliciting the most ridiculous excuses for not coming to work and the most absurd resume falsehoods?
The latest CareerBuilder survey—asking 3,000-plus respondents which jobs strike fear into them—isn't a knee-slapper, although some of the categories are clearly designed to elicit a giggle or two.
More than an attempt at straight humor, this survey underscores the fact that we all have fears we'd rather not share. We either secretly admire those who have the jobs that strike terror into our hearts, or we assume they are crazy to have taken them.
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Without further ado, we offer CareerBuilder's "10 Jobs That Strike Fear in American Workers' Hearts."
Politician: There are 56,857 politicians/legislators in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $9.89 Average salary for U.S. Senators and members of the House of Representatives in 2014: $174,0001
Scary for those who fear: Responsibility; accountability to a large number of people; rejection.
Microbiologist for infectious diseases: In general, there are 20,800 microbiologists in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $32.61
Scary for those who fear: Germs; Ebola; accidentally leaving the hazmat suit at home.
Security guard at teen pop idol concert: In general, there are 1,163,023 security guards in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $11.62
Scary for those who fear: Getting trampled by screaming tweens.
Kindergarten teacher: There are 158,084 kindergarten teachers (non-special education) in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $24.12
Scary for those who fear: Germs; temper tantrums; shaping the minds of America's youth.
Crime scene investigator: There are 128,432 detectives and criminal investigators and forensic science technicians in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $35.75
Scary for those who fear: Blood; the disappointment on people's faces when you tell them the job is nothing like it is on TV.
Animal trainer: There are 32,360 animal trainer jobs in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $12.03
Scary for those who fear: Animal attacks; allergy flare-ups.
Mortician: There are 27,505 mortician, undertaker and funeral director jobs in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $22.83
Scary for those who fear: Dead bodies; silence; zombie attacks.
Radio, cellular and tower equipment installers and repairers: There are 16,213 radio, cellular and tower equipment installer and repairer jobs in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $21.59
Scary for those who fear: Heights.
Stand-up comedian: There are 37,272 jobs in the entertainers and performers, sports and related workers industry, which include comedians, in the U.S. Median hourly pay: $16.89
Scary for those who fear: Public speaking; awkward silence.
Parent: There are too many parent jobs in the U.S. to count. Median hourly pay: Not nearly enough.
Scary for those who fear: Almost all of the above fears.
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Dan Cook
Dan Cook is a journalist and communications consultant based in Portland, OR. During his journalism career he has been a reporter and editor for a variety of media companies, including American Lawyer Media, BusinessWeek, Newhouse Newspapers, Knight-Ridder, Time Inc., and Reuters. He specializes in health care and insurance related coverage for BenefitsPRO.
