How to tactfully draw information out of people
Let’s consider 8 easy topics that get people to open up. But remember the adage 'Give to get' -- you need to share information too.
You attend multiple events as part of your social prospecting initiative. It’s good for business. It’s also fun. You often meet people who are wealthy, well-traveled or better connected. Wow! You want them as friends! They have the potential to be great clients too. What do I do next?
Cultivation 101
Your strategy is to draw them out, identify interests in common and use those shared interests as a reason to see them again. (And again.) How can you draw them out without seeming too inquisitive? FYI: A friend in the defense industry told me about a protocol. If they meet a stranger in a bar and that person starts asking certain questions, they need to report it as a possible approach by a foreign agent!
Let’s consider eight easy topics that get people to open up, but remember the adage, “Give to get.” You need to share information.
1. Work and job-related questions. “What do you do?” is a standard icebreaker. You volunteer a brief description of your job. They might draw you out, but you take a keen interest in their profession and company. “It’s a great firm!” “How long have you been there?”
What you learned: People love talking about themselves. Based on their job, you have a rough idea what they earn. If you aren’t sure, look at the Bureau of Labor Statistics report on Occupational Employment Statistics for your metro area. It’s online.
2. Neighborhood or town. “Where do you live?” You might try “Where’s home?” They tell you. You volunteer the same information. If you live nearby, you might know some of the same people or shop at the same stores.
What you learned: You have a pretty good idea of property prices in your area. You know the old money enclaves and the new upscale developments.
3. Car they drive. “Is that your Maybach out there?” Only kidding. You’ve seen plenty of “You are what you drive” articles. Although you can lease almost anything today, certain types of exotic cars require deep pockets. They might have two, three or more cars.
What you learned: The car (and its age) tell you about their personality.
4. Where they play golf. “Are you a golfer?” There are plenty out there. Many belong to a private club. Your area likely has several. You can ask how often they play. It might be their passion.
What you learned: You know which clubs have long waiting lists and high initiation fees. That speaks for itself.
5. Hobbies. These can quickly turn into passions, which you will discover if you come across watch, wine or art collectors. Some collectables cross over into the alternative investment category.
What you learned: Many collectors are eager to share their passion with fellow enthusiasts or people with a sincere interest in learning. This is hugely valuable!
6. Events they attend. You met them at a fundraiser. Spring and fall are the seasons for these events. Some are pricy. Others are not. Mention a couple of upcoming events. “Will you be attending the “Concert in the Park” in support of the symphony next month?
What you learned: You are identifying groups and events where you would likely run into them again.
7. Vacation plans. Most people take them. They come in all types. Family vacations. Adventure vacations. Cruises. If they mention a destination, you’ve either been there or you haven’t. Ditto for them. You can draw out how they chose that destination or you can share your experiences from your last visit.
What you learned: You plan vacations too. It’s a reason to initiate future conversations asking for advice.
8. Organizations they belong to. You are both attending a community event. Ask about their connection to the organization. They might be on the board. What other organizations do they support? You mention ones where you are involved.
What you learned: Board membership usually has a financial commitment attached. Event sponsorship costs aren’t difficult to research online. This enables you to make certain assumptions.
You’ve learned a lot. You’ve volunteered information in return. You haven’t come across as too pushy. Hopefully you’ve identified enough shared interests to justify keeping in touch.
Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, “Captivating the Wealthy Investor” can be found on Amazon.
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For your next prospecting meeting, forget the binder