Give them a puppy
I learned a lot during my ill-fated career in sales. My biggest takeaway? I’m not very good at it.
Sales is a tough gig. And believe it or not, I’m speaking from experience. Well, sort of.
Travel back with me to Chapel Hills Mall, nestled at the base of Pikes Peak, circa 1993. The scent of Sbarro pizza wafts on the air-conditioned breeze, Duran Duran’s “Ordinary World” plays in the background, and packs of flannel-clad teens mill sullenly about. Meanwhile, yours truly lurks just inside the entrance of Pet City, ready to ambush the next group of unsuspecting prospects, aka, innocent family, who wanders in.
Related: Sales lessons from your (much) younger self
My time as a teenage pet store clerk was quite eventful. Highlights include being pricked by a hedgehog, bitten by a sugar glider, and peed on by a tree frog. When I left a short time later, I did so as the proud new owner of several parrots and a dog. What can I say? They had a good employee discount. One thing I didn’t take with me, however, was a sales award. In fact, I believe the phrase, “This isn’t working out” might have been uttered by my manager somewhere near the end.
I promptly took my services across the weird little mall street to Sam Goody, where I spent a few years happily answering a stream of pre-Internet queries like, “I just heard a song on the radio that goes ‘da-de-da dum-dum.’ Who sings that?” and “Can you help me find the CD that has a baby inside a flower on the cover?”
I learned a lot during my ill-fated career in sales, which later included an ignominious stint as a telemarketer. My biggest takeaway? I’m not very good at it.
I’ve since found my true calling, but I retain a strong appreciation for those of you who make your living in sales. How you manage to face a never-ending stream of skepticism, objections and rejection is beyond me. That so many of you manage to do it in a consultative, ethical manner, while prioritizing the best interests of your prospects and clients, makes it even more impressive.
Of course, not everyone holds themselves to such a high standard, which is why we asked you to share the worst sales spiels and tricks you’ve ever heard. Be sure to visit the Hall of Shame on page 38 for a reminder of what not to do. (Speaking of, beware pet store employees bearing puppies. As our managers often told us, once the handoff has been made, it’s pretty much over.)
If, on the other hand, you’re looking for inspiration or new ideas, I recommend our annual 100 Sales and Marketing tips on page 16, featuring pointers from a variety of industry thought leaders.
Happy reading! If anyone needs me, I’ll be hanging out with my basset hound and looking up old grunge songs on Spotify.
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