No one's selling anything with these sales pitches
Sales calls that aren't 'sales calls,' salesmen with bad breath, oversharing personal details... and more horrible sales pitches!
We asked our readers to share the worst sales pitch they’d ever heard, either personally or professionally. Can you beat any of these?
Out of focus
I can’t believe when I still hear pitches like, “Hey, I’m working hard for you and now I need your help hitting my goals.” No! Just no. I don’t do guilt trips on either side of a sale and I’m not putting my responsibilities on someone else. I’ll show you the value and work hard for you. As soon as you focus on the money, everything gets harder.
Elizabeth Durand, director of strategic initiatives, Optum Advanced Technology Collaborative, UnitedHealth Group
Do I know you?
The worst pitch I’m seeing lately is happening before I’ve even had contact with a salesperson. I receive emails from people claiming we talked months before and that I asked them to get back to me when I know we have never spoken or emailed before. It gets even worse when they then follow up with another frustrated email for not responding. Now I’m the bad guy? This bad-to-worse approach crosses into offensive when this unknown person requests a “read receipt” for the emails I never asked for.
Related: 10 temptations to avoid in sales
I’m all for honest cold calling/emailing, but this type of approach gives salespeople a bad name.
Kevin Trokey, founding partner, Q4i
Rookie move
It was the spring of 2000 and I’d practiced and finally been approved to meet with business owners on my own. I was so excited and nervous. Mr. Business Owner allowed me to go through my pitch and I was pumped when I was done, because I only needed 14 minutes! As I sat there waiting for his green light, all I could do was think about how easy sales was and how great I just did.
Then came Mr. Business Owner’s response to my pitch: “Wait, you don’t sell health insurance? Not interested. There’s no need for voluntary insurance coverages.” Without allowing me to answer his objection, he stood up, the universal symbol to get out! I can assure you he’d probably say it was one of the most terrible sales pitches he’s ever received. What a welcome to the world of benefits.
Eric Silverman, founder, Voluntary Disruption
Not about you
The least compelling pitches are the ones that have nothing to do with the client/prospect or the solution itself. I’ve seen it in insurance when someone inserts a reference to their livelihood, when a vendor talks about their bonus on the line, and even when a doctor talks about the impact of medical records. In every instance, someone is oversharing and giving details about their personal drama that have no real place in a conversation about someone else.
Now in the interest of full transparency, I might have been a perpetrator of this back in the late ‘90s when my hair was a darker color…
Bret Brummitt, founder, Generous Benefits
Family friendly?
I was the CFO of a software company doing amazing work in a field that is a challenge for every Global 500 company. Our solution was cost-effective, simple and had crazy ROI. When we got in front of the right people, they bought a lot.
Our sales team secured a sales meeting with Disney, and we all traveled to Orlando.
At one point, our CTO was called on to answer a technical question and he got carried away, doing a deep dive into the technical aspects of the engineering. In a conference room where we were literally surrounded by 200 images of the iconic cartoon mouse, he ended his presentation with “This isn’t Mickey Mouse sh*t, man.” It turns out he was right, because we never closed that deal!
Trey Taylor, CEO, Taylor Insurance Services
Pants on fire
Hands down, the worst spiel I ever sat through started out like this: “Hey Josh, don’t hang up, this is not a sales call…”
Josh Butler, president, Butler Benefits & Consulting
Garlic in your soul
On LinkedIn: “Let’s meet before January because I may not be in as good of a mood after the holidays.”
Laura-Beth Christensen, co-founder, Leverage Benefits Consulting
Fear factor
“What are you going to do when your daughter gets cancer and you don’t have cancer coverage?” and “You are leaving money on the table if you aren’t selling ___.”
Heather Garbers, VP of voluntary benefits, HUB International
Assumptions make an…
I always find it interesting when people tell me how their service will help me win business before they even know what kind of business I go after.
Rachel Miner, founder, Thrive Benefits
About the Benjamins?
I heard another agent state the following: “I tell prospects that I can get them better plans and lower rates than any other broker.” The only issue is that in California, all employers with under 100 employees have access to the same carriers, plans and rates, no matter what agent or broker works with them. He was selling the client with lies.
The same agent was bragging about how he moves clients to a certain administrator that bundles carriers, because they pay higher commissions. He tells clients that it is the best product for them even though the rates are higher.
I asked him if he takes the state-required ethics courses every two years to renew his insurance license, and he stated that he did. I then asked him, why is it ethical to move employers to plans with higher rates so he can make more money? He doesn’t talk to me anymore.
Barry S. Cohn, Really Great Employee Benefits
Misplaced priorities
I especially dislike sales presentations from carriers that want to walk you through analysis that shows they have 50 percent discounts from providers.
My other least favorite comes from carriers that provide a high-priced proposal and call to remind me if I would write just two more lines of coverage, I’d be eligible for a bonus.
It disappoints me that many vendors care more about lining their pockets than providing a high-quality, cost-effective approach to benefits.
Wanza Schweiger, founder, Benefit Innovations
Umm… what was that?
When I was being trained in the industry, I was invited to sit in and hear the presentation of an older gentleman who had clearly seen a long career that was closer to the sunset than the horizon. In a group setting of about 25 people, he mentioned the plan included a wellness benefit. His exact words were, “you know, ladies, like when you go to get your boobies checked.”
I was sure I had misunderstood until he repeated himself because the room showed no reaction. I never understood if he was trying to get a laugh or if he was serious. I asked my coordinator if that was normal and was assured it wasn’t. I don’t know what success he had that day, but I never attended a presentation with him again.
Dennis Hartin, president, Hartin Dynamics
Something smells fishy
A few years ago, I let a sales guy who does commission tracking make an appointment because a friend of mine knew him and called in a favor.First off, he had horrible breath…like something had crawled into his mouth and died! If your breath is kicking so bad that someone can smell it across a conference room table, you’re probably going to start things off on the wrong foot.
He immediately went into his pitch, taking no time to get to know me or build rapport. It was long (and smelly) and I quickly saw his ulterior motive. In addition to owning my firm, I’m a partner of a very large one. He asked me who he should talk to at our HQ and even tried to silent close me! I told him his tactic wasn’t going to work on me. I wrapped the meeting and was walking him out and he said, “So do you have any little ones?”
I reported back to my colleague, told him about the meeting and suggested he buy the guy some gum for his birthday. He told me he knew about the breath situation, and I was shocked that this guy’s sales manager never let him know to always use a mint before a meeting.
Susan L Combs, PPACA, ChHC, Combs & Company
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