How to tactfully network with people you already know: It's all about them

Years ago, the New York Times made the case the average American knows about 500 people.  You probably know more because you are on the sales side of the business.  Can any of the people you know become your clients or connect you with the right person to land a really big corporate account?  How can you find out?

Step 1: Think about how you make buying decisions 

You spend money.  You make decisions constantly about where to spend it.  Here are some of the ways you might choose the lucky recipient:

1. Who do I know?  You need a product or service.  Who do I know that works in that field?
2. Who do you use?  It’s time to choose a health plan at work.  The company offers several choices.  It’s all so confusing.  You ask the person at the next desk: “Who did you choose?”
3. Who’s considered the best?  You have a medical condition.  You need a specialist.  You don’t want one assigned randomly.  You do some research, finding the best in the local area.  You ask your doctor if you could be referred to her.
4. Who is convenient?  You need to buy paint.  You know the home improvement stores carry a selection.  You drive by a paint store every day on the way to work.  It’s so convenient.
5. Who gives a good service experience?  You will soon be staying at a hotel.  You know Ritz Carlton is famous for the experience they deliver.  It costs more.  Assuming it isn’t too much more expensive, should you stay where they look after you? 

Step 2:  Learn about the people you know 

We think we know people.  We often assume our roommate from college still works at the same firm doing the same job.  You’ve heard the statistic — the average person will have 10-12 jobs during their lifetime.  They might have climbed the ladder at their firm or moved to a competitor. You want to learn what they do.  

You want to know the Who, What and Where about everyone you know.  Who they are, Where they work and What they Do.  It’s easy.  Start by making a list of everyone you know.

Then look for an opportunity to present itself.  You are both stopping for coffee after a session at the gym.  Say something like: “We’ve know each other five years.  I know you work at (firm).  It has something to do with (profession).  I’m curious.  What is it that you do?”  Stop talking.  You will learn plenty.  Talking about themselves usually puts people into a good mood.

Step 3:  Explain what you do

To establish your place in the decision-making matrix we described earlier, you need to get your story out.  You want people to know Who you are, What you do and Why you are good.     They told their story, now comes your turn.

Warning:  If you say: “Now it’s my turn!” they might feel you are selling to them.  Barriers go up.  We need a subtler strategy.

Ideally they ask:  “What do you do?”  You know how to answer that question, but try to keep your answer brief.

It’s more likely there will be some silence.  You can prompt them.  I love this approach.  It’s not my own – I think I heard it from a financial planner over 15 years ago.  “We’ve known each other for six years.  You know I work at (firm).  When you tell other people about me, what do you say that I do?”  Stop talking.

The obvious and truthful answer might be: “I’ve never told anyone about you, so I’ve never needed to know what you do.”  That’s uncomfortable to say.  It’s more likely they will tactfully say: “You are an insurance agent” or “You do something with benefit plans.”

No marketing statement is needed here.  Build on what they say:  “That’s part of what I do.  I also do…”  Another answer might be “That’s what I used to do, now I do…”  You explain briefly.

Step 4:  What happens next?

You don’t press further.  You learned what you wanted.  You raised your visibility.  You might position yourself in a third-party way:  “Now that you know what it is that I do, if you meet someone with a problem, you will know how I might be able to help them.”

The data you’ve gathered could help get business down the road.  Consider the following:

• Do they own their own business?  They might need a benefits plan or be open to considering changing providers.
• Do they work for a big firm?  They might be able to make the right introductions in the future.
• Have they changed firms recently?  There might be rollover business?
• Could they be an individual client?

Everything starts with learning about them and letting them know more about you.  Tactfully, of course.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, “Captivating the Wealthy Investor” can be found on Amazon.

READ MORE:

• 12 reasons why clients leave (and what you can do)
• The inside track: 11 questions to ask your friend about their employer
• Do your employees understand their benefits?