How to bring up business with a stranger

Strategies you can use to redirect a conversation towards business, without seeming pushy.

(Photo: Shutterstock)

We are in the party-socializing-conference season.  Remember the song with the line: “You may find yourself…”? (Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime).  You are face-to-face with a stranger in a social situation.  How can you draw them out?

Strategy #1:  “What do you do?”

The first approach is the most obvious: “What do you do?” is a standard icebreaker question.  It’s tempting to listen to their answer, then introduce what you do.  A better strategy is to take a sincere interest.  Quickly think of everything you might want to ask about their profession.

Rationale:   Your enthusiasm and sincere interest should get them talking.  People love talking about themselves.  Politeness will get them to ask what you do.

Strategy #2:  “What do you do?” (in the local context)

We are back to the icebreaker question.  Once you hear what they do, you are quite thrilled to meet someone in that field. Because you wonder how they are coping in the present economic or local business climate.  How has the pandemic and lockdown effected their business?  Have they been able to hire enough staff?  Has the opening of the new shopping center on the other side of town helped or hindered their business?

Rationale:  They understand your interest goes beyond simple casual curiosity, because you know what’s going on in the local area and the effect the economy has on local businesses and professions.  Even their own family doesn’t ask these types of questions.

Strategy #3:  “How was your year?”

It’s been said in Asia a common icebreaker question is “How much money did you make last year?”  Ouch!  That sounds a little intrusive.  Lets assume they mentioned what they do, or the type of business they own.  Asking how their year turned out should give clues to determine if they are struggling or thriving.  You can draw them out on what made it different.

Rationale:   They will probably ask about your year, allowing you to back into what you do and how business was in 2021.  Assuming it was good, you can explain it was because of an increased need for product #1 and product #2.

Strategy #4:  “Finally, a time to relax.”

This came from a sales-oriented executive.  He said the object is to get the other person to ask: “What do you do?”

He drew a mental picture of a guy walking up to the bar at the country club, sitting in an empty chair adjacent to another member.  He says:  “Finally, a chance to relax and unwind.  This is my busiest time of the year.”  He stops talking.  The other person (hopefully) asks: “What makes it your busiest time of the year?  Are you a toymaker?  Do you own a toy store?”

Rationale:  The other person asked the question, so you aren’t being pushy providing an answer. The answer allows you to position the product or service that has seasonal demand.  You can then draw them out about what they do.

Strategy #5:  “You should ask my spouse.”

This example aligns with tennis.  You toss the ball in the air, then hit it.  In this scenario, you are half of a couple.  Someone asks your other half: “What do you do?”  They briefly answer, but lead into: “You should really ask my spouse that question.  They’ve got the really interesting job.”  You’re on now!

Rationale:  The spouse is able to shift the attention away from them and onto the financial services professional, who now has center stage.

Strategy #6:  “It’s not as exciting as you think.”

We came across this actual scenario in the dining room on a cruise.  We had that simple “what do you do” conversation.  Once of the other people said: “I’m an art dealer, but it’s not as exciting as you think!”  She stopped talking.

Rationale:  You would need a cool way to explain what you do.  When she said “It’s not as exciting as you think” everyone else needed to draw her out.  You might not have thought it was exciting, but you want to hear more.

In each situation you can redirect the conversation towards business, without seeming predatory.  You are taking an interest in what they do or prompting them to ask about what you do.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, “Captivating the Wealthy Investor” can be found on Amazon.

READ MORE: