"Wait a moment!" you say.  "My friend knows why I want to meet the other person!" That's where prospecting and dating overlap.  Everyone knows what everyone else is doing, but there are protocols to be observed. Here are some rationales for wanting to meet someone, which can determine how you are introduced to them:

1. This is a person I would like to get to know.  This is preceded by asking your friend: "Do you know (name)?"  You follow your statement with "Can you help?"

Rationale:  You've complimented your friend because this person is on a higher social level.  Since they know them, they must be on that level too.  You want to climb to that social level.  Meeting this person is the first step.  Will they help you climb?

2. A person I may be able to help.  They are dealing with a problem.  It's public information.  If not, you share the available public information with your friend.  You ask: "Would you introduce me?"

Rationale:  You have established this third party needs help.  You don't have direct access.  Your friend does.  Everyone wants to help someone else, solve their problem or relieve their pain, if it's within their power.  You are providing the channel to help them by introducing you.

3. A person who might find my services of value.  You invite your accountant to play golf.  You ask them to bring along two guests who are business owners.  Perhaps you even name them.  Over lunch after the game, you ask: "Can I call next week and set up an appointment?  I have some ideas I would like to share.  I think I may be able to save you money."

Rationale:  By taking them to play golf at your expense, you have set up an obligation.  That obligation is strengthened by the addition of lunch.  Your request is reasonable.  It's hard to say no.

4. A person with a particular interest or hobby.  People love to share their passions.  People who grow orchids, collect wine or restore classic cars like to meet people who understand what they are talking about.  You own a classic Jaguar or some other type of collectable item.  A fellow you want to meet is a Jaguar owner.  Your friend is the common element (besides the cars).  You ask them to make the introduction, mentioning the shared interest in classic Jags as the reason.

Rationale:  Enthusiasts generally like to meet fellow enthusiasts.

5. A person your friend can introduce in a casual setting.  You know your friend and the person you want to meet share the occasional drink.  You suggest they plan another rendezvous and tell you the location beforehand.  You show up and greet your friend.  They invite you to join them.  You pick up a round of drinks.

Rationale:  This might sound manipulative, but it's done in dating all the time.  "What a surprise!  Imagine seeing you here!"  You aren't talking business, just making polite conversation.  If the third party is uncomfortable, they can always excuse themselves and leave the table.

It's not difficult to get an introduction if you ask politely and provide a rationale.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, "Captivating the Wealthy Investor" can be found on Amazon.

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