Financial infidelity: 40% say they're guilty

More than two in five U.S. adults who combine finances in a relationship admit they have committed an act of financial deception, and most of those say it affected that relationship in some way.

“When you comingle finances in a relationship, you’re consenting to cooperation and transparency in your money management,” said Billy Hensley, Ph.D., president and CEO of the National Endowment for Financial Education, which conducted the survey.

“Regardless of the severity of the act, financial infidelity can cause tremendous strain on couples. It leads to arguments, a breakdown of trust and in some cases, separation or even divorce.”

The foundation defines financial infidelity as an act of deception by one partner in a relationship where finances are combined.

More than one-third of respondents admitted hiding a purchase, bank account, statement, bill or cash from their partner or spouse, and about one in five admitted lying about finances, amount of debt owed or amount of money earned. Among the other findings:

Men are more likely than women (47 percent vs. 39 percent) to report having committed financial deception.

Neither current income level nor current homeownership status appears to be related to whether financial deceptions are reported.

Current life situations may be related to reporting financial deceptions. Employed individuals (52 percent vs. 31 percent) and households with children younger than 18 (59 percent vs. 32 percent) both are significantly more likely to report a financial deception.

Two in five reported that a spouse or partner committed financial deception.

When asked why they had committed financial deception, respondents most often say they believe some aspects of finances should remain private (38 percent).

This was followed by fearing disapproval by a partner or spouse in a relationship where discussions of finances already had occurred (34 percent), being embarrassed or fearful about their finances (33 percent) and fearing disapproval by a partner or spouse in a relationship where discussions about finances had not yet occurred (27 percent).

There are few statistical differences among different income levels for why they committed financial infidelity.

The employed (43 percent) are more likely than the unemployed (27 percent) to justify their financial deceptions because of a belief that some aspects of their finances should remain private.

Those who currently are not married are significantly more likely to cite embarrassment as their reason for the deception than those who are married (39 percent vs. 28 percent).

Hispanics (41 percent) and Blacks (44 percent) are more likely than whites (28 percent) to say embarrassment or fear about their finances and not wanting their partner to know led them to commit a deception.

More than eight in 10 who admit committing an act of deception say deception has affected current or past relationships.

Outcomes include causing an argument (42 percent), less trust in the relationship (32 percent), less privacy in the relationship (20 percent) and separation of combined finances or divorce (16 percent each).

Women are significantly more likely than men to report that financial deceptions caused an argument (47 percent vs. 37 percent).

Adults with children younger than 18 in their households are significantly more likely than those without to say the deception caused an argument (47 percent vs. 36 percent).

One in five say the deception caused the couple to grow closer together, and 16 percent say the deception caused the couple to communicate proactively.

“NEFE’s polling provides a snapshot of issues that stand out in Americans’ consciousness when thinking about their finances,” Hensley concluded. “When two in five people admit to committing financial infidelity in a relationship where money is combined, it highlights the need for greater communication and a deeper understanding of who your partner is financially.”