HR’s roles in employee personal problems

There’s a reason we’re called Human Resources, not Employee Resources. Whole humans walk through your office doors (physically or virtually) to work each day. People don’t drop their stresses, weaknesses, conflicts, or needs outside — the role of employee is simply one part of their entire human persona.

Because of this, it’s crucial for HR to step into multiple roles when employees could use extra resources to manage personal problems.

The Tightrope Walker

HR’s role touches the lives of every employee in a business, so we often get a window into peoples’ most trying experiences. Some unfortunately common experiences like the passing of an elderly family member or expected (but still taxing) situations like the birth of a child are easy to navigate when we let the handbook guide and dictate. Because these things happen so frequently, it’s crucial to keep expectations consistent throughout the company.

Then there are times when employees’ lives intersect with rare incidents like terminal diagnoses, critical accidents, natural disasters, and untimely deaths. At times like these, it can be beneficial to chuck the handbook out the window. Bereavement allotments be damned — if an employee loses a child, they’re going to need more than two days off.

This is when HR must become a tightrope walker. You must balance company and employee needs. You must walk the line between the handbook and the exception. You must be willing to accept that you might get flak for it too. But at the end of the day, it’s about what’s best for the whole and understanding that sometimes creating equity requires a deviation.

The Consultant

Not every problem is HR’s problem. Great HR leaders continuously empower managers with autonomy, accountability, and responsibility for their own team’s performance. When managers are empowered, many employee personal problems can be addressed with HR acting only as a consultant.

For instance, when two employees have interpersonal conflicts that impact performance, a manager may be screaming, “HR, take the wheel!” when they are, in fact, better equipped to handle the situation. After all, managers should know the intricacies of their teams better than anyone else. HR should check for documented harassment and can provide suggestions, but the manager should call the shots because the manager (not HR) is responsible for the team’s performance.

Then, if the problems persist, the manager is ultimately responsible for making the personnel changes that might be necessary to keep their team (and, overall, the company) performing. When HR keeps managers at the helm, it keeps us from getting bogged down in the everyday drama. So, step back when you can.

The Confidant

Whether you attribute it to Voltaire, Churchill, or the Spider-Man comics, you know the maxim: With great power comes great responsibility. You are privy to a lot of information, and other people know it. Trust is the currency of human relationships and employees are looking for that trait in you before they ever need your confidentiality.

So, start building your credibility now. Even in HR, there is truly very little reason you need to discuss the context surrounding any employee with any other person. Stick to the incidentals.

One of the greatest strengths you can develop as a leader and best gifts you can give another person is confidentiality. When employees are facing personal problems, they’re incredibly vulnerable; your sensitivity to this fact can be part of their healing.

The Empath

You didn’t sign up to be a therapist, but as a third party who is often involved in delicate situations, there are times you may feel like one. That being said, don’t assume that’s what every situation or every employee calls for. Instead, channel your inner empath.

Read the situation. A stoic employee asking for specific outcomes (e.g. “How do I remove my soon-to-be-ex wife from my health insurance?”) may be looking to get in, get out, and get on with their life. Keeping things up and light may be a relief to them.

For employees who do seem to need professional therapy (and, frankly, who doesn’t?), be prepared to offer some insights into your company’s mental health benefits. Provide information on resources like an Employee Assistance Program so employees can get emotional support beyond your shoulder to cry on.

The Veteran

There is truly no substitute for personal experience. And while you shouldn’t build your HR team using a dark Bingo card of human tragedies to mark off each member’s personal background, creating a diverse team will naturally give you a deeper well to draw from.

With a diverse team, you will be able to think through use-cases to create thoughtful programs and benefits that will aid employees when tough times come. Using personal experiences, your HR team will be able to create checklists to ensure personal problems are managed as effectively as possible.

It’s also helpful for HR team members to have some personal rapport with the employees they’re working with, which is yet another reason an HR business partner model is very useful. An HR team of one can’t be acquainted with all team members. An HR business partner who is embedded within specific areas of the company is much more likely to have personal experience with specific employees that they can use to inform their actions.

The Producer

No matter the life event, if it’s new to employees, it’s likely adding stress. HR can help employees process the minutiae of momentous occasions (good or bad) by laying out resources and to-do items and stepping aside.

For instance, in a divorce, employees likely need to consider changes to benefits, emergency contacts, or named beneficiaries. By laying out to-dos and allowing employees to take the steps themselves, HR can erase some of the unknowns while also giving employees the space and dignity they need to make these changes at their comfort.

Perhaps the best resource HR can provide an employee in need is an educated and empathetic manager. More often than not, the manager hears directly when an employee is experiencing a big event. This is why proactive manager training is crucial.

In tough times, employees usually don’t need or want HR to hover. Instead, we can line up their resources, surround them with support, and allow them to take their next steps confidently.

HR and personal problems

Life is hard, but as HR professionals, we have an opportunity to support employees through personal problems. As we thoughtfully navigate our many roles during tough times, we can make a big difference both in employees’ lives and, as a result, our company’s performance and reputation.

Read more: HR professionals see morale and engagement as top priorities

Anita Grantham joined BambooHR in 2022 as the Head of HR, bringing with her a long history of creating award-winning workplaces that set people free to do great work. As a people- and culture-focused leader with experience in a variety of industries including technology, cloud-based marketing, construction/real estate, education and customer experience, Anita has developed talent from multiple angles and has helped business leaders thrive in competitive environments.