The Syrup – the loneliness epidemic and coping during the holidays

This month’s edition of “The Syrup” has a special ingredient!  It’s our current Broker of the Year and my dear friend, Nancy Giacolone.  Nancy and I have been peer mentors to each other for a number of years and we recently had a conversation about loneliness.  It’s a topic that we have seen come up with our own families, as our mothers are both widows. We have also witnessed it with colleagues and clients in our industry.  Our discussion led to a guest authorship for this month’s article to tackle this topic and shine some light on some of the things we don’t always think about as the holidays roll around.  

And with that, I’ll turn things over to Nancy.

The festive music, twinkling lights, and cheer that fill the air as the holiday season approaches are often thought of as universal markers of joy and togetherness. 

Yet, for a growing number of people, this time of year may amplify feelings of isolation, highlighting the stark contrast between societal expectations of warmth and camaraderie and their own personal experiences of solitude. 

The “loneliness epidemic,” as health professionals and social scientists have termed it, is an increasingly recognized public health concern that does not pause for the holidays. In fact, it often intensifies during this time of year.

A recent Gallup Poll found that loneliness is not confined to the elderly.  They reported that nearly 25% of adults feel very lonely, and younger people feel significantly lonelier, with the loneliest group being between the ages of 19-20.

Loneliness has been linked to a myriad of health issues, both mental and physical. The risk of developing conditions such as heart disease, depression, anxiety, and a weakened immune system is higher among those who experience chronic loneliness. 

Alarmingly, some studies have equated the health risks of prolonged loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Furthermore, loneliness can lead to a vicious cycle, where the lonelier one feels, the less they engage socially, exacerbating one’s isolation.

Gatherings, family traditions, and social festivities typically characterize the holidays. However, they can also serve as a magnifying glass for one’s social situation, illuminating the quality and quantity of our relationships. 

For those who are estranged from family, have recently lost loved ones, or are far from home, the season can be a reminder of what — or who — is missing. 

The proliferation of social media adds another layer, as idealized depictions of holiday happiness can deepen the sense of exclusion for those who feel their reality doesn’t measure up.

So, what can you do if you are experiencing feelings of loneliness this time of the year?

• Frequent “third places.”  These places are not home or work, but locations where people gather socially.  Think parks, coffee shops, libraries, churches, or sporting events.  Meeting people in places where you share a common interest will help foster connections.
• Volunteer.  Volunteering takes the focus off of yourself and puts it on others, which can foster a sense of purpose and community.  
• Community events.  Holiday concerts, festivals, or bazaars are great places to meet and connect with others.  Not to mention, they usually have some good music and tasty treats!
• Visit someone you know may be lonely as well.  Maybe you have an elderly neighbor who lives alone.  Dropping by with a plate of cookies to check on them may be just the lifeline you are both looking for!
• Although technology is no substitute for in-person interaction, sometimes it can help bridge the gap!  Does your family live across the country?  Have a Zoom holiday party or create a new tradition where you decorate your trees together virtually.

The holiday season should be a time of joy and connection, but for those experiencing loneliness, it can be particularly challenging. By acknowledging this reality and taking proactive steps to address the loneliness epidemic, we can extend the spirit of the holidays to include compassion, inclusivity, and community. The gift of connection might be the most precious one we can offer in a season marked by giving.